If I was a lady desperately in need of a man?

In case you are wondering why I am writing this? My purpose is to help as many single ladies out there. This is how to get a man in ten seconds! I often wondered why some beautiful, good ladies are still single? It is still incomprehensible to me. I have observed how some ladies catch their men. I hate to sound misogynistic but they are just too desperate. Nevertheless, some of these desperate methods works! So,I have chronicled a snippet of that method in this piece without sieving them. So, you got to be careful how you follow advice!

So, if I was a lady desperately looking for a man? I'd simply stop lurking around on Facebook and checking out male friends' profile status! Rather, I'd update my status to: "waiting for a real man!". Then, I'd go buy some pairs of high heels and join the church' ushering department! I'd not volunteer in children's department! (for real!). Even though I love kids, I'd reduce hanging around little kids excessively in public. Why? Because they can get in the way sometimes! (oh yeah!). So, I want to be easily accessed! I'd always wear men's cologne! So, they can cast a second glance at me in wonder of my deodorant! I'd also wear masculine' wrist watch! They kinda feel connected to something like that, I guess.

Since, I'm desperate, I'd make it a point of duty to smile to everyone i meet. Perhaps, they may also be desperate! I'd stop driving my own car to work and bus instead. I'd walk on the curb by the roadside in order to be seen! I'd attend events and try to speak out there. At least i'd ask a question at the event before everything is over. That way, I can get noticed. I'd not be conservative about my colour combination. This is the time those loud colours work wonders! In addition, I'd be kind to strangers. I'd volunteer for organizations.  I'd bike to everywhere i need to go. I'd start jogging in the evenings instead of early hours of the morning. When I jog around, I'd make sure to slow down, so that my speed does not become a barrier! I'd also avoid areas that are not busy when I'm taking those meditative-walk! Remember being seen is the key! Positioning is the clue!

If you think this a crazy advice? Remember this is for desperate ladies! So, why are we still single if we can make some little adjustments to our life and get hooked up?!
However, from a man's perspective, I think being desperate is not the way to go. Why? Because, you catch the wrong fish! She who hides her true identity just to fit in and be accepted will lose more!Because she will attract the wrong and repel the right people! Manipulations may get you inside the door, but can it keep you in there? That is the food for thought!